7 weeks ago
The recession has hit everybody really hard. My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO`s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald`s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children`s names. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn`t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. A picture is now only worth 200 words. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the Chinese Flu, the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck. Stay healthy.